


Can you feel me, yeah, like I feel you?

by lumoon33



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Smut, but its not too bad, im shit with tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:04:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1551458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumoon33/pseuds/lumoon33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SECOND PART OF 'I CAN'T STEAL YOU, NO, LIKE YOU STOLE ME'.</p><p>It's kind of toxic, their relationship, Luke thinks. They comsume each other at night, it drains out the bones of both of them, it leaves them exhausted. But they can't stop it, it's something addictive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can you feel me, yeah, like I feel you?

**Author's Note:**

> This is like a second part of my one shot 'I can't steal you, no, like you stole me', but I think you can read it if you didn't read the other one anyways.  
> Well, I don't like it, but I hope you'll like it.
> 
> English isn't my first language, sorry for the mistakes.  
> Enjoy it :)

Luke gets out of bed carefully, trying to keep all the pieces of his puzzle together. 

He goes downstairs to get his breakfast and his bandmates are already there when he enters the kitchen. 

Do you know that feeling that gets over you when you get up too fast? That's what Luke feels when he sees Ashton's eyes, there's more red than hazel. The floor starts moving under his feet and his sight goes blurred for a few seconds, he needs to grab the end of the counter with his eyes closed to not to fall. 

He takes a deep breath and when he opens his eyes again Ashton isn't in the kitchen anymore. 

Luke pretends nothing has happened, but he knows that there are already some pieces out of place.

  
\----

  
Luke can't take his eyes off of Ashton when they're all eating together in the livingroom. 

He knows Ashton is tired. He can see it in the red of his eyes, in the wrinkle between his eyebrows, in his lip trapped between his teeth. He can see it in the way his hand trembles a little everytime he takes the fork close to his mouth, or in the way he chews slowly, as if he's only eating because he has to, but he doesn't want to. He can see it in his flushed cheeks and when he looks away everytime his eyes meet Luke's.

He knows that he's tired and that he doesn't care anymore.

And Luke feels another puzzle piece falling inside of him, disfiguring the picture of his resistence a little bit more. 

  
\----

  
They spend the day in the studio, the two of them alone, and they're supposed to be writing, but Ashton falls asleep in the couch when they get there, and Luke can't wake him up.

He can't because he feels so fucking guilty. 

Luke knows it is his fault, how exhausted Ashton is. Ashton has gave up a long time ago, he doesn't try to fight it anymore, he doesn't care, he just waits for Luke when the night comes, he feels everything without thinking and then he spends the following day worn out, until the night is there again and it all starts one more time.

Luke looks at Ashton's sleepy face and he wishes he could change this all, but he can't. He's too afraid, he's a coward. He's too afraid to give his heart to someone, even when that someone has already gave their to him and he's playing with it without even noticing it.

Ashton moves on the couch and he mutters something about blue eyes in his sleep.

Luke feels like every piece of the puzzle becomes weaker. 

  
\----

  
He knows he shouldn't be there. He knows that he should go back to his own room and just sleep, leaving Ashton alone, because he doesn't deserve this.

But Luke is feeling that strange thing again and he knows that he needs Ashton to make it stop. He is feeling how the floor moves under his feet and his sight is blurred, it is hard to breath and his head is pounding, he can feel his heartbeat in his throat and it's scaring, disgusting, and he needs Ashton to make it stop. So he opens the door and gets inside the room, as every night.

Luke leans against the door and looks up at Ashton, he's sitting in his bed, shirtless and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, making them even redder. Luke swallows hard and closes his eyes, he thinks about getting out of there, get back to his room and end this thing between them. Ashton doesn't deserve this. 

But the floor hasn't stopped moving under his feet, so he walks towards the bed and crawls over it until his face is only a few inches away from Ashton's. He takes Ashton's hand off of his eyes and looks at him, he hopes Ashton can see how sorry he is in his blue eyes. 

Ashton seems not to have time to look into Luke's eyes, he places his hand in the back of Luke's neck and drags him closer, crashing their lips together, and Luke's world stops spinning around him to start spinning around Ashton.

It's kind of toxic, their relationship, Luke thinks. They comsume each other at night, it drains out the bones of both of them, it leaves them exhausted. But they can't stop it, it's something addictive. 

Ashton's hands go down Luke's back until they reach the end of his t-shirt, he takes it off without asking and he wraps his arms around Luke's neck, lying down taking Luke with him, holding him tightly, bitting hard at his lower lip.

Luke straddles Ashton's hips and runs his fingers through his hair, breathing hard against his lips when they part. He looks into Ashton's eyes again and he can read them like an open book. He can see the tiredness, the attraction, the sadness, the lust, the pain, and he knows that his own eyes are filled up with guilt right now, but he doubts Ashton can see it, he has become a great actor since this thing between them has started, he needs to be a good actor if he doesn't want everyone noticing when another piece falls down inside of him.

It is different with Ashton. He's gave up a long time ago, he doesn't matter if Luke can see his feelings in his eyes, he's too tired to care, he just feels it and doesn't try to hide it anymore. 

And sometimes Luke wishes he could be a little bit more like him. He wishes he wouldn't care if he gives someone his heart and that someone gives it back to him broken. He wishes he wouldn't be this afraid. He wishes he could stop running.

Ashton presses their lips together again, harder, desperate. His hands goes down to Luke's pants and he tries to push them down. Luke gets up from bed and takes them off, then he straddles Ashton's hips again and attaches his lips to Ashton's neck. He feels excited and guilty, needy and sad. He feels like he's going to break apart at any moment and he feels more alive than ever at the same time. It's as confusing as always and it makes his head hurt.

Ashton mutters a little "fuck" when Luke pushes his hips down against Ashton's. He sucks on the skin of his neck, right bellow his ear, where he knows Ashton likes it the most, he leaves a mark there while grinding his hips against Ashton's and the elder boy's nails dig in the skin of his back. It hurts, Luke doesn't care, he feels like he deserves it.

Ashton's hand grabs Luke's hair and pulls on it, making him leave his neck, and he crashes their lips together again, eagerly. Luke pushes Ashton's boxers down and curls his hand around his dick. Ashton's lips leave Luke's when the younger boy starts moving his hand up and down. Ashton's head falls down, with his mouth open. They has just started and he's already so wrecked, just the thought of it makes Luke's heart beat so fast it almost scares him.

It kind of consoles Luke, knowing that he can make Ashton feel this good after making him feel so drained all day, it makes him feel a little less guilty. Just a little.

Luke leans in again, he kisses, licks, bites Ashton's neck and chest, moving his hand even faster on his dick, and little moans start to leave Ashton's lips.

Luke stops his hand when his name comes out of Ashton's mouth with a groan. It's too much. The mixed feelings, the guilt and the sadness, the wanting and the need. Everything starts to spin around him again because it is just too much. Everything is spinning and it's hard to breath and his head is pounding and he is feeling his heartbeats in his throat and he needs Ashton to stop this.

He pulls away to take Ashton's boxers off, and when he gets back to Ashton's body he pushes his hips down. Their erections grind against each other and Ashton pulls on Luke's hair and it hurts, but Luke doesn't complain, he deserves it after all. And his mind is too blurred with pleasure to care. 

Luke's forehead rests over Ashton's as they move their hips together, little breaths that mix between them leaving their mouths. Luke looks into Ashton's eyes and he reads them again. The attraction and the lust have won this round to the tiredness and the sadness and Ashton's hands in his ass pushing his hips even closer to his tell him that Ashton needs him already. 

Luke kisses him again as he takes Ashton's legs and wraps them around his own hips. The kiss is messy, just lips touching, breaths mixing and teeth crashnig. Luke bites hard on Ashton's lower lip as he enters him, as slowly as he can, and Ashton's nails dig once again in his skin. 

Luke doesn't move once he's inside Ashton. He stays still, with his arms at both sides of Ashton's head to support himself. Ashton's eyes are half closed, he looks at Luke through his eyelashes, his chest is going up and down fast, his breath is heavy, his hair is messed, his cheeks are blushed, his lips swollen and it's the most beautiful thing Luke has ever seen. He knows that he will never get tired of seeing Ashton like this, all eager and wrecked, all because of him.

Then Ashton's eyes close completely and his legs tighten his grip on Luke's hips, and Luke knows that he can move now. 

He kisses Ashton's red lips again and starts thrusting inside him, slow at first, but faster when Ashton's nails sink even more in his skin and he starts to moan his name against his lips.

The guilt is now in the back of Luke's mind, the pleasure is too overwhelming to feel something else right now. At that moment, with every move of his hips, Luke's pieces crumble completely, his puzzle doesn't makes sense anymore, he lets the love take over him and that, mixed with pleasure, is the best thing he has ever felt. The best thing he will ever feel.

It's just at this moments, in the dark of the night, in the intimity of Ashton's room, in the security of Ashton's arms, when he lets his resistence fall, when he lets his feelings get over him. He forgets how afraid he is to get his heart broken and he gives every piece of it to Ashton with every breath he takes. 

But at the same time, he regrets every moan he takes out of Ashton. Because the guilt is in the back of his head, but it is still there. And his mind is blurred, but he still knows how things are going to be when the morning comes.

Ashton comes first, his legs even tighter around Luke's hips, but his arms weak, resting over Luke's back. His head falls down with his mouth opened again and he whispers Luke's name softly. 

Luke follows him as soon as his name leaves Ashton's mouth. He buries his face in Ashton's neck and bites at his skin as he comes inside him. Everything keeps spinning, but in a good way now. The room is spinning around him, but Ashton's with him, holding on to him, as if they're the middle of this hurricane that is surrounding Luke in that moment. 

Luke stays like that, with his face burried in Ashton's neck, until his world stops and the reality hits him again. He presses a soft kiss over the mark he had left in Ashton's neck before and he gets away from him. 

He lets himself fall in the bed, looking at the ceiling, and it hurts. 

It hurts listening at Ashton's heavy breathing while every broken piece tries to get to its place again to rebuild the puzzle of Luke's resistence. He tries to bring back the wall he has built around his heart, that wall only Ashton is able to break. 

Luke looks at the clock that's over Ashton's bedside table, it's four am and he knows that his time's up. He sits in the bed and looks at Ashton, cuddled up in himself giving his back to him.

It's right there when Luke doesn't know what's the point on running anymore, when the thing, the feeling, he's trying to scape is inside his head, his chest. 

He looks at Ashton again and he feels the guilt stronger than ever. And it's mixed with that feeling he tries so hard to hide. And he is getting tired of hidding it. 

He knows that he's not going to be able to sleep tonight, and he thinks that he likes the idea of spending his night awake next to Ashton, even though he's giving his back to him.

So he gives up. And when he falls in bed again he is more scared than ever.

  
\----

  
The next morning, when the light enters the room and Luke opens his eyes, he's greeted by the reddest eyes he has ever seen, but it's a hell a lot better than being greeted by the other side of the bed empty.

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty please, let me know if you liked it x


End file.
